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Posted 2 days ago

Sitting in my car, falling in to pieces.. God please pick me up. Pick up these pieces . Because I can’t stand the pain anymore, I can’t take it.
Things will never be the same. Ever. That’s all I can say. It’s all I can think. It’s all I can comprehend.
Father please…… Help me.

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Posted 3 days ago
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Posted 5 days ago

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Posted 1 week ago

“The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse.”

I know I posted this quote a while back, but the more I read it over, the more realistic it becomes. How do you know when you are there? I should be at rock bottom by now, but I dont feel it. I think I am, yet letting go I know would put me lower than rock bottom. But also…. what if you dont want the addiction to stop, what if you still need it. That is a problem we all encounter. When do u hit so low that you have to stop? 

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Posted 1 week ago
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Posted 1 week ago
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Posted 3 weeks ago

It doesn’t feel right. Nothing does. When it starts to feel okay, I loose touch of myself not long after. I think I’ve come to a point where I question my purpose. Why am I here, and what influence do I have on anyone. No one know me, not truly, and the only one who does, I have to let go of. So what’s my purpose? This is what I question myself everyday.

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Posted 1 month ago

just the beggining

So this is the final week here in Lubbock. That means all the people I have grown to love these past 8 months, I wont see for about 2 years. Goodbye week is causing me to be a bit depressed. Ive learned to care about these people deeply, they are my family, but I guess in AIM you learn that goodbye is just a see you later, and it is suppose to make things a little easier. But I dont think it is. But I know this is just the start, we are going out there to share God/s word, to do what we were made to do. This is just the begging of our adventure. We have so much lying ahead of us. This is a sad goodbye but we are looking at a new beginning!